Dead End

The trip to sunny California was so nice-it was worth missing a week of school. I never realized just how much I miss my cousins. My cousin had a Catholic wedding. I've never attended one, but it was...rather, interesting, I suppose. She didn't want a Catholic wedding, but the groom's parents opted that she respect their wishes, and so, she compromised, but it's her wedding, shouldn't she be the one making the decisions?

During that span of one week in San Jose, I met many long distance aunts and uncles-people whom my grandmother and mother had disliked, people who wasted away their money, people who drove them out of their home, people, who now after 20 years, had the audacity to show face..and...i applaud my grandmother and mother for keeping their cool...

The evening after our arrival from San Jose, I received a letter from the Admissions Office at TCU. This was the long awaited letter that I have been waiting for. I prayed many months before that whatever happened, the Lord was in full control of the situation. I opened the letter while my mother unpacked our belongings. I read and skimmed through the addressed information hoping to find a bolded print saying "Congratulations, welcome to TCU" but to my dismay, I found none, so I carefully read every word. As tears began to cloud my eyes, I quickly ran to my room and cried...cried in disappointment. I began to wonder what was next...I literally was at a dead end. I didn't know what else to do, where else to apply...nothing..completely nothing. Painfully I had to admit that perhaps the Lord did not want me to go to TCU, but what other universities am I to apply to? Where? What next?

My parents had no knowlege of what was occurring, but after 15 minutes of sobbing and wailing, I got the nerve to face my parents to inform them of my dreaded news. I stood there soaking my father's t-shirt with my tears while my mother gave me encouraging words. I thank God for parents like them. The first thing they said was "Ging, it's okay. The Lord closed TCU, that could only mean that he has a better and bigger plan, better university for you. Pray to the Lord that you may become sensitive to his calling and continue to seek his will." My parents prayed for me that evening...

My rejection from this university is a lesson for me. Before I graduated high school, my four year plan has all been layed out. I would go to a community college to take my pre-req's for Nursing, and then transfer to get my BSN. The Lord seemed to have thrwarted my plan. I'm a 3rd year Junior in college and I'm still at a community college...I pray that somebody out there would knock some sense into me and say "it's not all about you...it's about HIM"...so Lord, I pray that you may use me as a vessel, guide me into the place that you have desired for me to serve. I pray for your sensitive calling, your will for my life... Amen