I have a friend whose son made the varsity basketball team his freshman year. He worked hard to make the team, so we were all proud of him. Because he was a first year student, however, he didn't get a lot of playing time and approached his dad with an idea. "Dad, I'm sitting on the bench most of the time. I think I'm going to quit the team and do something else. The varsity team isn't as fun as I thought it would be."
My friend's response was amazing. He sat down with his son and replied, "I know you'd hoped to get lots of playing time this year, and I am sorry you're watching most games from the bench. It's tough when you'd rather be having fun on the court. But, son, I can't let you quit the team. Several other boys wanted the spot you won, and I am not going to let you flake now just because it isn't fun. You made a commitment to be
on this team and I want you to keep it to the end of the season. Next year, if you don't want to risk sitting on the bench, it's OK. Don't try out."
These words, spoken with grace, are exactly what students need to hear today--especially if they are going to be leaders. Commitment comes with the territory. One psychologist said it this way: "The ability to keep a long term commitment is one true sign of maturity." If you're like me, you've moaned under your breath: where is the long-term commitment in this generation of kids? Why do so many seem like they're ADHD? Their attention spans last two minutes! The sad truth
was summed up by a friend of mine who works at a college. "This generation of kids talks about changing the world--but they won't stay committed long enough to even change their campus." One Associate Dean told me, "Students want to change the world, but before they're ready to take any action they change their minds instead."
This is the paradox of being part of the Millennial generation. Students have a strong belief that they can transform society, but find it difficult to stick to an idea once the novelty of that idea wears off. It is easier to return to the comfort of their iPods and cell phones. According to The Weekly Reader's Insider's Survey, half of students (ages 6-18 years old) believe one kid can change the world. Unfortunately, only 31% are actually doing any volunteer work that aligns with that belief. In other words, their optimism doesn't always equal action.
Let's face it. We should have predicted this. Many of them grew up being affirmed for every step they took, winning trophies, ribbons, prizes and pats on the back for anything--even finishing in 9th place. Parents clapped for everything. Few learned anything about perseverance. If a child failed, parents often swept them away before it could hurt their self-esteem. Unfortunately, life doesn't work that way. As an adult, work isn't always that rewarding. Projects can be hard and slow. And when colleagues don't continue to affirm a commitment, it's difficult to sustain that commitment.
When Convenience Eclipses Commitment
Let me summarize what I believe has happened, then suggest how commitment works with students. We live in a world of convenience. Kids today have been called the "disposable" generation because everything can be thrown away when they're finished with it. No commitment has to last too long. This can create problems morally and spiritually.
For instance, during the summer following 9/11, France lost thousands of people in a heat wave. It was awful. But the worst part about it all came after the deaths. When the heat wave struck, 15,000 elderly people died in nursing homes and hospitals. Unfortunately, it was August and most French people were on vacation. The children of those elders didn't even leave the beaches to come back and take care of their bodies. Institutions had to scramble to find enough refrigeration units to hold the corpses until family members finally came to claim them.
The loss of life was five times bigger than the terrorist attack of 9/11, yet it didn't trigger any change in French society. Why? Because keeping mom and dad alive is costly and inconvenient. Convenience has eclipsed commitment. Sticking to what we believe to be right is hard because change is normal today--and because few are able to endure what is inconvenient. We complain about traffic lights being too long. We fill out a card if the service is sub-par at a restaurant. We even pace in front of our microwave, waiting for our snack! And this is truer for today's students than anyone else.
Involved But Not Committed
I describe most students today with this phrase: involved but not committed. It's a Habitude from Book One of our series: Habitudes: Images That Form Leadership Habits and Attitudes. It is called, "The Half-Hearted Kamikaze." The syndrome is illustrated by the kamikaze pilot who flew in World War II for the Japanese Air Force. He was still alive after fifty missions! A journalist finally cornered him and asked: "Aren't you an oxymoron? How do you explain the fact that you've been on fifty missions but you call yourself a kamikaze pilot?"
"Well it's like this," the pilot responded. "I was very involved...not very committed, but very involved!" I always smile when I think of this story. A true kamikaze flies on one mission. He gives his life for it. There's no such thing as a half-hearted kamikaze. Commitment comes with the territory. The same is true of successful people today, especially leaders. Sadly, we want one without the other. Students today are
active. They are more involved than ever. That's the strange thing about this dilemma. It isn't that they are isolated from each other or from good causes. It's simply that they want to keep all their options open. They want involvement without commitment.
How Commitment Works
Let me ask you a question. How long did your New Year's Resolution last? Or, based on past failures, did you even make one this year? Most of us fail to keep commitments because we don't realize how commitment works. We want to move from a "wish" to a "lifestyle" overnight--and it usually doesn't work that way. The following are phrases we generally experience as we build commitment into our lives.
Remember: students must begin with an idea and move to a conviction:
1. Ideas: We perceive an issue by the way we think about it--this involves our minds
2. Opinions: We begin to express our preferences on the issue--this involves emotion
3. Beliefs: We conclude where we stand on the issue--this involves both mind and emotion
4. Commitments: We begin to act on our belief--this involves mind, emotion and will
5. Convictions: We are ready to die for our commitment--it's now a passion in our lives.
Let me try to summarize how this generation often thinks. They are sometimes called The Mosaics. They don't think in a linear manner but like a computer would store information. It is a mosaic menu in their minds. They can live with contradictions; they are overloaded with information and are making decisions earlier than previous generations. Sometimes they are not emotionally ready to make some of these decisions. The vast majority thinks about their future weekly and is trying to figure out their purpose in life. Parents are their greatest influence--over peers, teachers or youth pastors. Many have been pampered and their optimism may make you sick. Their number one goal is education, and they believe one person can make a difference in the world.
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