Will I Ever Become a Good Nurse?

What defines a good nurse? Typical answers would be: Smart, knows their stuff. Knows their stuff. What kind of answer would that be? My mind seems to have stopped functioning and all this information that I am reading seems to go out one ear, out the other. Nothing is retained. Though I'd like to say that what I am reading is becoming pointless, there is this one little aspect in my brain that tells me to keep reading, it will all be worth it...someday. 3 semesters of Nursing school seems so distant, far, too long. A year and a half would be easier to say, but for my pleasure I like to say 3 semesters. It's all the same.

My first semester of nursing school is almost over. It seems like I have learned nothing at all-though now that I think about it: If I was perfect and knew everything, I wouldn't be in school learning all these things. It's all a learning process. A long and hard process.

My clinical instructors have given me very sickly, but incredibly good, learning patients. I could learn a lot from their conditions, but I never seem to take that advantage-I focus on their care, not merely the physiological aspect of their disease. I make things harder on myself. Rather than focusing physically on what I can see, I move from the inside out-I begin with their lab values, the abnormalities, and from there, work my way though and figure out what has caused it. Perhaps it would be easier if I would just concentrate on the easier part.

I'm in the operating room this week-I wonder what I'll be seeing. Surgeries fascinate me-I've always wanted to do it. Perhaps I'll pursue Medicine, but then again, another eight years of schooling?