Hurt

I've never woken up angry and frustrated all the time. I guess I really never knew how much it hurt to realize the holidays, birthdays, and the special occasions that will be missed. Those special dates have come and gone and it can never be taken back...the emotional scars and pain can sometimes be unbearable...

Taking care of myself has become a burden to me. I simply refuse to do the menial simple task of brushing your teeth, eating, sleeping, dressing...I find it to be pointless and unimportant...I am reminded of the psychiatric patients I once took care off. It always made me wonder why they would not have the will to do such things...what was their underlying pain? What was it?

Who knew being a military life would take such a toll on me...nope, never anticipated that at all...surprisingly so, I still talk to people, I haven't completely alienated myself from the world, and I still eat...